Monday, August 07, 2006

9 years ago today was the day, I was at my best friend Donna's and I got a phone call saying Jason was in a head on accident, he was in a coma and Jimmy his best friend had passed away. My friend Matt drove me to Taft where he was, and where I sat for the next day, sleepless and devastated that the love of my life was laying there not waking up and with very little hope of ever doing so. I kept calling his name, cause I felt he could hear me, only when I called his name his eyes would attempt to open. Josh was 3 weeks away from being 6 and had very little idea of what was happening. Jason was so swolen they took him in for his 3rd surgery, they were going to cut open his stomach and place a plastic bag so there was more room. At 11:11 Am on the 8th of August they pronounced him dead, and my whole world shattered, I lost it, they asked if I wanted to say goodbye, I remember walking in the room, and the next thing I knew I was laying on the floor, I just stayed there and cried, Jasons Aunt and Uncle came in and got me.My friend Donna Ogawa was flying in from Oregon, I had to go to the airport to get her, it was 2:30, she got off the plane and I ran to her and hugged her for what seemed like an eternity and told her he was gone. Me and Missy (Jimmys wife) now had a double funeral to prepare for. That week was the hardest week of my life and with family and friends I got through and continue to get through it. I still have my momemts where I just break down, but I have awesome friends and family that are always there to catch me when I fall. I still don't understand....I know it is inevitable but WHY??????????
The hardest thing about moving from California was not being able to go to the cemetary anymore. I miss going and sitting and talking, putting flowers, and other little things I know he would like. I miss him so much...
I love you Jay and I miss you, watch over your son and don't let anything happen to him, I know you are hear with us, I can fell your presence at times, and there are times that I can smell you, god I love that smell. Your son has grown into such an awesome young man and has a heart of gold just like his daddy. Til we are together again Jay you are forever in our hearts........

8 Comments:

Blogger trisha said...

ok, now you have made me cry girl.....I never knew the whole story on Josh's dad until now, I send my prayers and thought to you....Where is Jason buried at here in Ca? I may visit the same cemetary often so please let me know......
my email: ramsfan9828@yahoo.com

9:14 PM  
Blogger Heather/SHTEZQ said...

my ? is the same where is he at. I can go and put flowers for you. I know it is not the same but it at least will not be empty if you need me tomorrow let me know we love you Debby. Give josh a hug for us to and yes till you meet again he is there watching it all.

10:14 PM  
Blogger vanessa said...

oh debby, i sit here crying, you are such a stronge woman. we may never know the answers to our whys but when you are reunited with Jason you might find your answer. i cant imagine what it is like to lose someone like that, i can still see how much you love him.
i prey for you and your son.

12:51 AM  
Blogger Tee said...

God, this is so heart breaking. It made me cry. I am so sorry.

Thank you for making me take a moment to count my blessings.

{HUGS}

8:45 AM  
Blogger Shionge said...

Dearest Debby,

Thank you for taking time to share this inner most feelings with all of us and yes, you've touched all our hearts and we do empathize what you have to go through.

Lots of hugs and kisses Debby, be strong always.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Debby said...

thanks guys for your comments, they mean alot and help me to get through the day.
Jason is buried in Taft which is about 3 hours away from you in Riverside, right outside of Bakersfield. I send things to his Aunt and Uncle and they take them out for me....Thanks for the offer.

12:17 PM  
Blogger tony said...

me and kevin were just talking about jason this last sunday,and as long as he stays in your heart he will always be with you and Josh.Give josh a big huge from our family.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

I am sorry. For some reason I was thinking it was next week. I heard that song by puff daddy the other day and was thinking of him. I know you miss him. so do I, I wish I could be there with you. When you have those hard times.
I love you

10:55 PM  

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